Motherhood: achievement unlocked!

Today, my baby peed on me, while I was crying.

A lot.

A lot of pee, that is. Well, okay, a lot of crying, too. Let me explain. Our household has been hit with some sort of stomach bug (Priscilla gave it to us, I think!). I had it a few days ago and it was awful. I got home from my third shift job this morning, only to discover that my husband had been throwing up for a while overnight, himself! Great, right? He ended up coming home from work after only an hour, and Renly refused to sleep. I ended up only getting a 2 hour nap in after being up for almost a full 24 hours, so I was TIRED.

For dinner, I made potato soup, and brought it out to the living room so we could eat in front of the TV. I set the bowls on the table, and Renly immediately decided to crawl over to the table, pull up to standing by himself, and stick his tender little baby hand directly in the probably-still-boiling soup bowl. I leapt over to him as he fell back, and the soup bowl flung scalding soup all over me. I caught him and whipped as much soup off of his hand as I could, and then yelled, "HOLY #$^% IT'S HOT!" just as Renly yelled the same thing, only in baby screams.

He's fine, I'm fine. No burns, just some wounded egos. BUT, as this incident was happening (and it happened in the blink of an eye, my gosh, babies are fast!), my super helpful husband says, "You need to wipe him off first before yourself!"

Wrong move, hubs.

I already felt traumatized and he kinda made me feel like he thought I was an idiot mom that wouldn't obviously do that, so I got really upset. Once we assessed the damages and realized that everyone was fine, I took Renly to the bedroom and started to cry. I was scared and embarrassed (although I don't know why, both of us were right there, so it's not like it's only my fault!), and I was upset about the comment my husband had made.

Husband comes into the room a moment later, sick and miserable, and tries to figure out why I'm blubbering away (bless him). I brush him off, and decide to change Renly's diaper. Off with the diaper, just as hubs asks what's wrong, again. I start to cry hard...and then...my lap is wet.

Renly peed on me.

I'm talking an arc of pee, like a fountain. Directly onto my stomach and lap. He peed for a long time, and I just sat there and cried and laughed a little, while my baby peed all over me. He stopped, and I started to say "I'm having a bad day," but Renly cut me off with another stream of pee.

Thanks, son.

Oddly enough, I did end up feeling better at that moment. I mean, things can always be worse, right? Just when you think it's the worst moment of your life...someone can come along and pee on you.

This all seemed a lot more philosophical when I was covered in pee.