Working it! Day #1

As you saw in my last post, I vowed to find more time to take care of myself and workout. I wasn't exactly sure how that was going to pan out or what it would look like, but when I said it I meant it. I knew if I wanted to start I needed to find a regimen that would fit into my hectic days at home and still push me physically. I was looking around online and I came across a Pinterest pin that took me to a site called Bikini Body Mommy.

(I just had to pause on this post for nearly 2 hours due to the crabby 'I-just-started-teething' baby)

I cannot say enough good things about this program. Briana, the woman who started it all, has had three children and has gone through this program before and lost 100lbs. She does the workouts along with you - your Day #1 is her Day #1 too! You are able to see her change with you and struggle the same way you do. Which, to me, that is a huge bonus. I never liked seeing someone who has a perfect body, someone who obviously never had a child, workout in front of me, smiling and able to talk while I'm dripping sweat and feel like I'm going to die. No thanks. All of her videos are posted for FREE on YouTube, no paying $100+ for a program, and they are short, compact workouts that will fit into your schedule while still leaving you feeling sore in the right way.

Today was MY Day #1 and I feel fabulous! Today's workout was only 8 minutes long (thank goodness because I was SO out of breath and could hardly lift my legs) and I got it done during my 3 month old's TINY morning nap. I made sure to do the warm-up and cool-down as well, so that added just a few extra minutes of time - but it's completely worth it!

I honestly cannot wait for tomorrow! I'm not going for a perfect super model body, I just want to be the best me. To be healthy, look good, feel great and be comfortable in my skin again. Not a bikini body, but the mommy version of a bikini body.

1 day down, 89 more to go!

Priscilla

Time? Not enough!

Right now there is a baby sleeping on my lap; snoring, drooling, restlessly twitching. This is the third time we've attempted to fully follow through with this afternoon nap. Attempt #1 was in her crib, where she woke up after about 20 minutes, right as I was getting deep into a homework assignment. Attempt #2 was in her swing - that lasted about 5 whole minutes. She wore me down and mama gave up. Nap time on the lap today! Well, at least this rarely happens.

An oddly sleeping baby is one of the huge reasons I feel that I have little to no time for anything. A lot of things have fallen to the sidelines - my two top priorities being the kids and my homework. The future of our family and our financial security depends on me finishing my degree program and then getting a good job.

And, it goes without saying that the kids come first before everything.

But, there in the mix, are about 102 other things that need to be done; dishes, cooking, kids' homework, laundry, taking care of the dog, errands, bills, straightening the living room, wedding planning, organizing, laundry again (still), something needs to be put away, kids are fighting, the baby threw up, kid needs a bath, someone needs a bandaid, the dog needs to go out again, baby is crying from the start of teething, that light blub needs to be replaced......... I just got overwhelmed even writing that out and thinking about everything else I could add to it, so I'll just stop there.

So, may I ask the world, when I am supposed to get a decent workout in, on a regular basis, so I can lose the rest of this baby weight?! To be honest (don't hate me) I've usually never had any issues with dropping baby weight. I'd just go about my life normally, and within about three months it would be gone and I'd be back in my pre-pregnancy clothing. Something has changed; I'm 30 now, and this was not my first pregnancy so my body has been through more now. I'm still about 3 or 4 pants sizes bigger than I was and I am just not comfortable with myself.

Workouts are the last thing that I seem to have time for these days, but they are also one of the most necessary - not just for me physically, but mentally as well. I, along with probably ever other mom on the planet, need to find more time to take care of myself and focus on me on a regular basis. I know that when I do take the time to work on myself in a constructive way, I feel like a better form of myself - a better mother, better friend, better me.

I vow to make more time for me.
Workout > putting away laundry :)

Motherhood: achievement unlocked!

Today, my baby peed on me, while I was crying.

A lot.

A lot of pee, that is. Well, okay, a lot of crying, too. Let me explain. Our household has been hit with some sort of stomach bug (Priscilla gave it to us, I think!). I had it a few days ago and it was awful. I got home from my third shift job this morning, only to discover that my husband had been throwing up for a while overnight, himself! Great, right? He ended up coming home from work after only an hour, and Renly refused to sleep. I ended up only getting a 2 hour nap in after being up for almost a full 24 hours, so I was TIRED.

For dinner, I made potato soup, and brought it out to the living room so we could eat in front of the TV. I set the bowls on the table, and Renly immediately decided to crawl over to the table, pull up to standing by himself, and stick his tender little baby hand directly in the probably-still-boiling soup bowl. I leapt over to him as he fell back, and the soup bowl flung scalding soup all over me. I caught him and whipped as much soup off of his hand as I could, and then yelled, "HOLY #$^% IT'S HOT!" just as Renly yelled the same thing, only in baby screams.

He's fine, I'm fine. No burns, just some wounded egos. BUT, as this incident was happening (and it happened in the blink of an eye, my gosh, babies are fast!), my super helpful husband says, "You need to wipe him off first before yourself!"

Wrong move, hubs.

I already felt traumatized and he kinda made me feel like he thought I was an idiot mom that wouldn't obviously do that, so I got really upset. Once we assessed the damages and realized that everyone was fine, I took Renly to the bedroom and started to cry. I was scared and embarrassed (although I don't know why, both of us were right there, so it's not like it's only my fault!), and I was upset about the comment my husband had made.

Husband comes into the room a moment later, sick and miserable, and tries to figure out why I'm blubbering away (bless him). I brush him off, and decide to change Renly's diaper. Off with the diaper, just as hubs asks what's wrong, again. I start to cry hard...and then...my lap is wet.

Renly peed on me.

I'm talking an arc of pee, like a fountain. Directly onto my stomach and lap. He peed for a long time, and I just sat there and cried and laughed a little, while my baby peed all over me. He stopped, and I started to say "I'm having a bad day," but Renly cut me off with another stream of pee.

Thanks, son.

Oddly enough, I did end up feeling better at that moment. I mean, things can always be worse, right? Just when you think it's the worst moment of your life...someone can come along and pee on you.

This all seemed a lot more philosophical when I was covered in pee.

Six months.

I have a six month old baby. Wasn't he just a little blob that laid around, not that long ago? Now Renly is a crawling, two-toothed person. It's amazing and scary and I am so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for it all. 

Renly, at six months old, loves any type of remote (TV, xbox, whatever) and prefers his toy remote over all other options, unless his baby piano is around. He seems to like the color red the best. He's eaten peas, bananas, and had a taste of frozen yogurt and whipped cream. He loves peas. He's about 21 lbs and about 2'08". He loves kicking his feet as fast as he can, especially if he's naked and can slap his thighs with his hands at the same time (you're welcome, future Renly. I live to embarrass). He can crawl fully, and likes to crawl up into my lap and give me high fives when he gets there. He also likes when I sing him to sleep, and his favorite lullaby happens to be by one direction, much to my chagrin. 

I am so blessed and so incredibly in love with this little man. I can't believe that he's halfway to a year! Time flies. Cherish it. 

What Are You Thankful For?

As we approach Thanksgiving I like to talk about what I'm thankful for - corny, right? ;)

Two Thanksgivings ago I was a single mom in a dead-end relationship, yearning for a family and a true partner in life. Seeing how Miss Rita was taken (wink) I was left to fend for my life on my own. Flash forward two years and here I am, sitting in my house looking at my new baby girl hearing my 7 year old giggle as she watches a movie (my 12 year old is at her father's), and smelling the coffee that I brewed for the man I will marry and spend the rest of my life with.

 I guess this is a pretty generic thing to be thankful for, and it will never stop being something I'm thankful for, but - I'm thankful for my little family. They have given me everything I've ever wanted. No, my life has not always guided me down the path I thought I should have been on, and mistake upon mistake made me question my own decision making. (I would have liked to give up my decision making to a friend, like Rachel did on Friends) But, as I look back, those "mistakes" weren't mistakes at all. Without them, I would not be here where I was meant to be. Happy. I look back on certain parts of my life with sadness in my heart, not able to think about them very long without getting emotional, but everyone turned out OK.

I am thankful for every turn I made, every person in my life (both negative and positive), for they are the reasons I am who I am - the reasons I have who I have.

Oh - and my Rita. I'm forever thankful for her and her little family.
For her family, is my family. <3

Where Did This Teenager Come From?

     My oldest daughter Madison will be 13 in January. This is a fact that I have done my best to avoid for some time now - basically since she turned 10 - but with her recently acquired and growing attitude, it is no longer avoidable. *sad face*

     Today, I had to ground her. For the first official time. She was supposed to go help out at her school by doing some babysitting for parents that were there for a meeting, but instead she is grounded to her room.Overall she is a good kid; gets good grades, doesn't talk back, is sweet and friendly and never one to make fun of another person or make anyone feel left out. Her issues on the other hand are things such as refusing to shower, slacking on her chores, having to be constantly reminded HOW to do her chores, and just to DO them in the first place, and lying - about many things; cleaning her room, how she treats her sister, eating certain foods, hacking into my mother's Facebook, and so on. My fiance and I think that her issues may stem from her home life at her father's house (we have 50/50 custody & placement) since she doesn't seem to grasp the concept of "We tell you to do this, so you do it" no matter how many times we talk to her about it. But, we have no proof about what happens over there, so that is just speculation.

     This might be 'typical teenage stuff' but when you're in it, in the middle of the grounding, you feel like you're all alone and no other parent in the world is dealing with this or feeling like crap for having to do it. I HATE having to punish my kids, it's so weird to me. We make the rules? We come up with how to punish them on my own? Isn't there a book on this or a guideline somewhere? And then, I'm the bad guy. The mean mad mom who never lets them have any fun and is always on their ass about everything. Pft, kids are so "What have you done for me lately?"

     I want my sweet girl back. I have a TEENAGED DAUGHTER, and that folks, scares the crap out of me. Bring on the eye rolls, blank stares and pretending she doesn't know who we are in public!

Why I love yoga.

I love yoga. I've been a dedicated yogini for quite a while now. I've noticed that when I declare my obsession to new people, I often see a little bit of confusion on their faces. Why yoga, they ask. Why?  Here's a list (you'll discover that I work best in lists!):

1. Yoga gives me a sense of calm.

I don't lead a calm life, and I am not a calm woman, normally. I churn with stress and anxiety, and I am busier than I'd like to be. Doing yoga gives me a moment to slow down and breathe deep. Plus, deep breathing helps with the anxiety. Win win! 

2. Yoga is a great workout. 

One of the styles of yoga that I practice regularly is Ashtanga, which is very physically demanding. The first led primary series that I attended left me so sore that I couldn't lift my arms for four days! There are plenty of different types of yoga that are excellent for strength and weight loss, by use of quick flowing movements (cardio!) and body weight. 

3. Yoga is awakening my spiritual side. 

I have always considered myself to be a non-religious, non-spiritual person. I gave up seeking when I was a teenager. However, if you become serious about your yoga, it's impossible to ignore the spiritual teachings that it stems from. Classes often close with saying "namaste", which loosely means "the light in me recognizes the light in you, and when we are both in that place of light, we are one." That is deeply spiritual to me. The more yoga I do, the more I feel connected to the world around me, and the more awestruck and grateful I feel. My life had been missing this type of reverence, and I feel better having it. 

4. Yoga makes me feel cool. 

Is this a good reason for doing something? Whatever. I feel like an interesting human being because I do yoga regularly. It's different and a great topic of conversation or ice breaker. 

5. Yoga helped with my pregnancy and birth.

Heck, yoga even helped get me pregnant. I struggled with infertility, which is initially what brought me to try yoga. Once I got pregnant, I began a prenatal practice that kept me centered, grounded, and focused on what was happening with my body. The breathing exercises helped me deal with my crazy overlapping contractions. Post partum, yoga has, at times, been the only thing that made me feel like a functional human being. 

6. Yoga is giving me goals.

Both short term and long term. I want to achieve certain postures. Long term, I plan on taking a teacher training and becoming an instructor. 

7. Yoga appeals to the language need in me. 

The language of yoga is Sanskrit, which is awesome to hear. I have always loved languages, so it's no surprise that I greatly enjoy hearing the Sanskrit words. Ashtanga yoga is counted out in Sanskrit, and it never ceases to make me feel like I am doing something special. 

8. Yoga has brought me a new community. 

Both online and in person, I have met some incredible people through yoga. I love chit chatting with strangers in class, and I love the online yogi communities on tumblr and Instagram.